New Year Doesn’t have to Mean New You

We wanted to write this post because the new year often comes with a lot of pressure. We bet you couldn’t count on both hands the amount of times you’ve heard “new year new you” in January. And every single year, no matter how good your intentions, you realise (the hard way) that you just can’t make a NEW you.

But ask yourself this. Does a happier, more fulfilled new year have to involve a NEW you? We don’t think so. In fact, we think that the “new year new you” message hasn’t worked for you so far because it actually invalidates the old you and hints at you not being good enough. But, being better doesn’t have to start from not being enough.

If we start with where you are at right now and work from there, we might think of a BETTER you as a set of steps all going in the same direction over time. Remember, mountain climbers don’t think about mountains, they think about steps and it is the steps that get them to the top of the mountain. Here are 8 steps that will get you closer to a better you in a realistic achievable way.

Recognise what doesn’t need to be changed and keep that in good working order

Each of us is a mix of good habits and bad habits, of strengths and weaknesses. Think about your 3 greatest strengths and ask yourself if you need to invest more in them, to keep them strong and flourishing. For example, doing more exercise makes it much easier for you to eat healthier food.

Be Yourself

So, you are who you are, and you know that no matter what you do, you can’t be someone else. You can change, people do, but there is no need to fundamentally change who you are. In fact, giving up trying to be someone else is the first step you need to take before you can really change aspects of yourself in a lasting way.

Ask yourself what you were getting out of an old habit?

Habits form for a reason, they serve a purpose, and we don’t always know what these purposes are. A purpose can work for or against you but it is still a purpose. If you currently have a habit that you want to change, ask yourself why you started doing that thing in the first place. For example, if you want to eat less sweets, think about why you eat as many as you do. What does it really give you? It must be something or you wouldn’t be doing it, right? Whatever it is, maybe you can serve that purpose a different way that doesn’t involve eating sweets. If you do that then eating less sweets will be a lot easier.

Be realistic

Change is possible, but you need to be realistic about the type and level of change that is feasible in your life right now. Putting yourself under excessive pressure never works. Think about what you can achieve within the current constraints of your life like running the house, a full-time job, children, a husband. They all limit the time and energy you have. So, start by making small changes that don’t require a huge reshuffle in your life, because that just isn’t going to happen. For example, if you want to start exercising but you have young children, perhaps it just isn’t feasible to go to the gym and your best option is to exercise at home.

Change one thing at a time

Research shows that new behaviour takes a few hundred instances to become a habit that lasts. That’s a lot of effort and practice for each thing you’re trying to change. That’s why it’s more realistic to focus on changing only one thing at a time, giving yourself the chance to really focus on and practice that one thing. Then, when that new habit is established, you can start again with a second thing. For example, people often try to start exercising while reducing what they eat. Although they’re related, that’s still trying to change 2 things at once, and it is a lot of work and pressure. Why not start exercising first? Give yourself 4-6 weeks to really get moving. Then when you’re in a good weekly routine with your exercise, start to think about what you eat.

Share what you’re trying to change

When you’re trying hard to change something about yourself, it’s important to share it with someone who can support you and tell you when you’re doing great (and when you’re doing not so great). Managing change inside your own head rarely works, there is often only criticism in there rather than positive feedback. There are probably loads of people around you just as desperate to change what you want to change, just find one, you’ll be good for each other.

Track your efforts in a daily diary

Habits form in small steps and it’s all too easy to get taken off course. If you get side-tracked, you’ll want to give up. Then you’ll go back to your old ways for a few weeks or months and at some point later you want to change again and things are even harder now. Keeping track of your efforts every day will help you not to get side-tracked. But more importantly, they significantly reduce the time between the side-track and you getting back on track. Every day counts when you keep a diary, but without one weeks can fly by without you even noticing.

Reward your efforts and achievement regularly

Just as a diary tracks your movements, rewards track your achievements. Real life isn’t like the lottery, you don’t keep doing things that don’t pay off. So, make your efforts, however small, pay off for you by giving yourself a pat on the back and a reward. These don’t have to be big, but they do have to be regular. Buy yourself something to wear, new PJs or even new bubble bath. Reward yourself at least once a week when you’re working on a new habit.

We hope you can take something from this that works for you.

Take care,

Ciara and Yvonne.